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Here's to the night we felt alive.. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | Incubus ]
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neverending blah [Nov. 8th, 2007|09:04 pm]
[mood |crazycrazy]

i feel alone.

and distant from the world...
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longest yet worthwhile day in history [Oct. 31st, 2007|11:03 pm]
[mood |crazycrazy]

I woke up into today thinking it would be another long lasting,tiring,cold, take care of sick kayleigh day...
and i was right.
lately she has been so sick. Constant diarrhea, vomiting, runny nose...not being able to hold solids OR liquids down..
~so we ended up taking her to the ER. Stomach Flu. They gave her some kinda medicine that made her not have those symptoms anymore so i finally got her to eat...

strangely enough today My sister texts me the oddest thing that made my heart fall down to my stomach...
she told me Ronnie ( my sperm donor) had a myspace.
I had to check this shit out for myself. and sure enough, he does.
the fucking asshole is so fucking sick in the head, wanna know what he put in his "heroes" section?

"my dad, he taught me how to be a man..."

first off, FUCK you ronnie for even being alive.You are the epitomy of what is wrong with the world, all seven deadly sins, the fucking devil himself and a bad name for humankind!
fuck your fucking god damn sin that you lived out 23 years ago you fucking procreating sick bastard. How fucking DARE you have the fucking nerve to write that your dad was your heroe?? Did you really admire his flaws all that much trhat you wish you could be just like him?? seriously? Why the fuck arent you even dead yet? you have hepotitus c from sticking your diseased cock into so many random bitches..you could only be so lucky.

why god put someone on this earth like you is beyond me, and why he didnt allow your penis to become covered in sars and fall off is another question i will never know.

_------>I fucking hate the word "hate". yes, its a oxymoron..but the only person i have ever truly hated in my life time (not even carmen came close) was my fucking god damned biological father. his heroe. struck my fucken heart so hard, a thousand daggers wouldnt even have done an equil amount of justice on it.

then i find out I have 14 year old HALF sister named Haleigh, Another half sister whose 18, a 27 year old brother names mark, a ten month old brother named tyler, and another brother whose name wasnt disclosed to me..
all from different mama's


my point of a male whore if i say so myself..

its cool knowing i have other siblings..

but not cool knowing he couldve done the same shit to them..and i fear for them..

no words can describe or even become close to fathom the shit i have learned today or to explain how i feel. because even I dont know.

shawnte', steph...
what the fuck do i do?

i am all for getting to know them, they are part of my family..
but i dont want to push them away because they came from the same sperm, which i hate so much, as i did...

what a fucking day!!!
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im so mad [Oct. 16th, 2007|08:30 pm]
Getting off the phone with brian to find out he left his house because he got into a spat with his moms friend....

i say one thing and he fucking blows up at me...

so i told him i was gonna let him go

and he just hung up on me.

i have never been treated that shitty by any one of my closest friends in my life unless they fucked me over...EVER

I feel disrespected, hurt, and pissed off...

im done talking to him...

fuck going to brand new with his ass...

that was just fucking rude.
you dont yell at someone who's trying to be there for you when you need a fucking shoulder...ever
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perfecto [Aug. 10th, 2007|07:25 pm]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

man oh man I love the disney channel...
too bad I cant log into my myspace....
my phone hasnt been letting me and its an addiction, I have to get on...

its gonna drive me insane!

I changed my backround and everything on there so check it out...

add me


my life has been getting alot better and smoother without Elise in it. so im glad I made the right decision...
I dont think I will ever give her the satisfaction of being her friend because of the many a times shes hurt me. and you know what? im definatly ok with that.
since ive cut her off, I havent had any drama with her carmen, or Karissa.:)

any thoughts or comments anyone?
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just blah [Jul. 12th, 2007|07:03 pm]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

Incubus is in 6 days
Jareds 21st is in 8
Our 1 year anniversary is in 10
Kayleighs 2nd bday is in 11


Can't wait!
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damn the whore [Jul. 3rd, 2007|04:55 am]
[mood |irateirate]

damn the whore who lies to make herself the victim

scorned is the woman who puts up with it without a fight...

Riddle me this now... Tell me how my myspace can manage to get hacked into 3 times within the past year...
I've had myspace since 2003, and it NEVER happened until (insert name here) set foot on it... ideas?!??
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family [Jun. 21st, 2007|04:39 pm]
[Current Location |blah]
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |AFI]

Wow its been too long since ive used this journal!but I have a feeling now that I remember my password, I will be on more!

Let's see what's been going on with me?
Not much
My daughter is about to be 2 in July, and my hubby will finally hit 21!
We've moved since the last entries into a slightly smaller house, but away from the nonsense of Jared moms clients!

Don't get me wrong, I love Jareds family but people coming and going to the shop all the time are ones that get to me.but that's for another time!

I became friends again with little Brian back in March, and its like we've been inseperable ever since. He's my little gay man. But I heart his face

Um people have been coming back into my life.... Some whether I like them or not
A big one?
Carmen ..yikes
Ugh not enough words to start that one right now but I'm sure ill make time for a whole entry next time.

Well I guess that summed everything up for now until next time
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Kayleigh Marie Miller [Jul. 30th, 2005|09:33 pm]
[mood |contentcontent]

She was born on July 23rd at 9:52 a.m.. The day prior to her birth was a hard one. Contractions starting at 4 a.m. are never fun...

She is pretty and has a great personality so far! She's got Jared's eyes, they are beautifully blue (so far anyway), my nose, my lips, and my face shape. She got Jared's skin tone and so far as some dark hair, and a headful too might I add!

Let me just say epidurals are great!
I had to have 2. But everything's good now, and everyday I look forward to seeing Kayleigh's face when I wake up.

I'm almost down to my normal size and Kayleigh is now a week old. Life is so exciting for me right now. It's so cool seeing a part of me and Jared in a little baby. I'll try to get back to you when I can but before I go thank you Casey for the wonderful balloons and for visiting me in the hospital.

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thanks to your giving..ha [Nov. 25th, 2004|12:35 pm]
[mood |none of ur biznazz]
[music |the used-take it away]

Just want to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving!!!

and stay safe..:)
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2004|12:45 pm]
read my other lj...for today that is..if u aint got it..sorry.
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